Crossing the Bridge from Fear to Joy

Have you ever had a time where over the course of a week or two, there seems to be an underlying theme emerging? Is it especially happening when you read different books that on the surface do not seem to be connected? Does it take you a while to clue in that it just may be God trying to tell you something?

This has been happening for me since the beginning of Lent. Over the course of a week the subject of fear has been coming up in scripture as well as in a book I am walking through with our two applicants. It took until the third occurrence that it finally dawned on me that God is wanting me to work on my fears.

It all started with the scripture from 2 Chronicles 20:15, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” As I sat and contemplated that, Exodus 14:14 came to mind. “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” This was a reminder I desperately needed as I had been feeling like I was in a battle of sorts. I know deep down that the Lord is indeed fighting for me. I need to be diligent in doing my part of guarding my thoughts, but the overall battle is not mine to fight. It is the Lord’s. I have since resolved to wave that white flag of surrender to the Lord to let Him be the commander in chief and I just follow his command.

Shortly after this surrender, I was in a discussion with our first year applicants about the book “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. Within one of the guideposts, Brene wrote that the opposite of fear is joy. One of the applicants mentioned that she thought the opposite of fear would be courage. By inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I shared that in this case courage could be considered an action word of sorts – a way to get from fear to joy. To illustrate my point, I shared that I could picture myself sitting in a state of fear, curled up in a ball against a wall. In order to move forward away from fear, I need to do as it is written in Mark 10:49, “Take courage, get up, He is calling you.” Courage becomes the bridge between the darkness of fear and the light of joy. The dictionary defines courage as a noun, stating “it is the ability to do something that frightens you.” I also found courage described as “the willingness to respond fearlessly despite the anxiety and worry that might be tugging at you.”

How many times have I just let this fear control me. I don’t know about you, but fear can be very debilitating for me. I freeze, my body shuts down, and I sob. I have been finding this happening when I get very anxious and stressed as well. I have allowed myself to be controlled by this fear for far too long. It is like fear comes knocking, and I act as if I am stuck and don’t have any choice but to let it in. I don’t fight it and instead just let it take over. However, fear never comes alone.  He invites his friends of doubt and hopelessness to his little party as well. For example, the Lord recently brought back a memory of packing my last apartment before moving to Canada to join my Community. It was the last weekend before my move out date, and I was still not finished packing everything up. You see, I was having to not only pack up everything, but go through everything to see what I could let go of or give away. I had a lot of possessions. Since I was not finished, my sister and her husband came over to help. When they arrived, I was taken over by fear and shame of what they would think of me. As I tried to pack the closet, I sat down frozen in fear and just sobbed. My sister assured me that everything was going to be okay and we would finish together. She commended me for how much I had done on my own and brought me back to peace and to a place where I could work again. The Lord worked through her, to bring me back.

I firmly believe that the Lord is reminding me now that He is the one that has control over my life, not fear, not other people, and especially not my circumstances. I need to keep relinquishing all control to Him. He will be with me in the battle and in the moments of fear. I am never alone. It is the Lord that will bring me back to joy. There is nothing to fear, as 1 John 4:4 says “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” Fear is not from the Lord, joy is. I cling to the wisdom of Pope Saint John Paul II, “I plead with you – never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be Not Afraid!”

I am reminded of something a priest once told me on the way home from a pilgrimage.  “Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. Nobody was there.” Fear flees from faith. I shall keep answering the door with faith, for fear is no longer welcomed here.  How about you? How will you answer that door? Who will you be letting in?

Lord, in Psalm 18:30 you tell us that “With you I can break through any barrier, with my God I can scale any wall.” I pray for each person who reads this who may be battling with fear, be given the strength and the courage to scale that wall of fear and join you on the other side and knock the wall to the ground. May the chains of fear be forever broken in all our lives. Replace all the empty space inside with your unwavering JOY.  Fill it so much that there is no room left for fear to return, for fear has been evicted, in the mighty name of Jesus!