As I sat to write this blog, I felt that I was at a loss for words. I knew in my heart what I wanted to write about, but I just didn’t know how to begin. My heart ached with sorrow, but I did not yet have the words to even start to describe the feelings. I turned to the Lord and asked him for the right words, and as I waited for an answer, an old 1950s song popped into my mind. It was “Turn, Turn, Turn” by the Byrds. This song was based on Ecclesiastes 3:1, and this is where the Lord told me to begin.
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”
This scripture speaks of the various seasons of life. A time to live, a time to die. A time to sow and a time to reap. A time of war and a time of peace. A time to embrace, a time to refrain from embracing (vs. 2-8). This really spoke to me, and I began to ponder how there are many seasons in our lives, not just the one happening outside our windows.
I don’t know what the weather is like in your corner of the world, but here in Ottawa, as I write this, the summer season is slowly fading as the cooler temperatures of fall are beginning to creep in. Growing up in Houston, Texas, I did not experience the changing of the four seasons as it happens here. Since moving to Canada 10 years ago, I have grown to love this time of year. I love watching the leaves change color on the trees; the green leaves turn into vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows before they fall to the ground.
As I transition from summer into fall, I look back and see a time of growth in those short summer months. In July, I attended a training course called Thrive Today, where I learned about growing in emotional and relational skills. One of the most impactful things I learned, and continue to learn about, is how there are many emotional skill gaps. I realized that I missed learning these skills in my childhood, which affects how I relate and react to things today. Some of these skills were not passed on to me by my parents because they either were not taught them themselves or didn’t know how to pass them on. As the saying goes, ‘you cannot give what you do not have’. This newfound awareness has allowed me to grow in my relationship with my parents. I am now able to better understand some of their actions and behaviours and have more compassion, understanding, and patience toward them.
So, what does this have to do with changing seasons? My parents are both elderly and require more care. It is that time of life when my siblings and I, in a way, are becoming the parents of our parents. We need to look out for their best interests. My parents put so much love into raising us and keeping us safe, it is now time for us to give back to them all the love they gave us and so much more.
As we transition into this new season, the Fourth Commandment keeps coming to my heart: “Honor your Father and your Mother” (Exodus 20:12). I will admit this is not an easy season to enter into. There are so many unknowns during this time of transition since this is new for all of us. As heartbreaking as it is to see our once strong parents now so frail, it is just as hard for them to accept that these are needed changes. As my Mom admitted, it is difficult to let go of the things they worked so hard for. However, I have been told that as things settle down, such as finding new living arrangements and transitioning from independent living to assisted living and memory care, things will get easier.
I am finding that this is also a new season of trust-building. My siblings and I need to trust each other as we strive to be in agreement in our decisions. My parents need to trust that these changes are in their best interest. Most especially, we need to continue to trust in the Lord. I have had to surrender all my fears and anxieties, and trust that he will take care of my parents. As long as he is in charge, things will go according to his plan. As Jesus says in John 15:5b, “For without Me you can do nothing.” I have to trust that my siblings and I will find the right place for my parents and that they will receive the care that they need and deserve. I have to trust that their quality of life will improve and they will someday see that these changes were done out of love. Most of all, I need to trust that my siblings and I are not in this alone, that Jesus and Mother Mary are at our side every step of the way.
As you hear my story, does this relate to you? What sort of season does the Lord have you going through right now?
Photo Credit: Unsplash
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